Are You And Your Partner Experiencing Obstacles To Intimacy?

Intimacy Stones1 - Lydia Mendoza - SacramentoAre you finding it difficult to connect physically and emotionally with your partner?  Has the love you once felt for each other been replaced with tension and frustration?  Maybe you have tried unsuccessfully to connect only to have your efforts criticized or ignored, or the temporary peace in your relationship dissolve into disharmony and conflict.    

Do you feel sad and alone, wanting to talk with your partner about your needs but unsure of how to do so?  Or do you find yourself avoiding talking altogether as you try to maintain the level of intimacy and connection you currently have?

Do you wish you could find a way to connect intimately with your partner again?

All Partnerships Face Challenges

We all have some barriers to intimacy.  As two people with different styles of communicating, connecting, and resolving conflict come together to form a relationship, it is inevitable that obstacles to intimacy may arise.  Many people find themselves feeling disconnected from their partner at some point in their lives, particularly if they have been together for many years.

And, each couple establishes patterns of relating.  While some patterns can lead to greater connection, others can create unwanted or unseen barriers to intimacy and understanding between partners, contributing to a negative cycle of conflict and disconnection.  Some couples find they can navigate this cycle and find their way back to connection easily.  For others, the cycle is more difficult to interrupt and they find themselves feeling disconnected and alone, frustrated and angry as they face the arduous task of finding their way back to physical and emotional intimacy.

But there is a path back to intimate contact.  With intimacy counseling, you and your partner can learn to come together to identify and interrupt the negative cycle and reestablish intimacy in your relationship.

Intimacy Counseling Can Help You Remove The Obstacles To Connection And Closeness

I provide a warm, supportive environment so that you and your partner can feel safe discussing those difficult topics that have led you into conflict and the cycle of disconnection.  In this safe space, each of you will learn how to identify unmet needs and vulnerable feelings that trigger the cycle of reactive emotions, thoughts, and behaviors.  You will learn to identify when this negative cycle of disconnection is happening within and between you and learn to band together to interrupt it and overcome obstacles to intimacy.

We will explore and work to remove the blocks and barriers that keep you from being able to connect with and share your experience in a vulnerable, open way and listen as your partner shares theirs, further removing obstacles to intimacy. 

In this way, you and your relationship will be transformed and you will be able to navigate through obstacles to intimacy more easily and effectively.

We Think Intimacy Counseling Can Help But We Still Have Doubts…..

How Will This Help Our Sex Life?

It is not uncommon that couples wonder how counseling can help their sex life.  When we want physical contact it may seem tedious to explore unmet needs and vulnerable feelings.  You may wonder how understanding reactive emotions, thoughts, and behaviors can remove obstacles to intimate physical contact.  The truth is that sex is often about more than physical contact.  Sex and intimacy are also about safety and security.  Being physically intimate with your partner exposes you to your most vulnerable, unprotected state.  If you feel like your partner is not there for you outside of the bedroom, or that he or she does not have your back, it can often lead to obstacles to sexual intimacy.

I invite you to think of intimacy counseling as a way to deepen safety and security between yourself and your partner and reduce obstacles to physical intimacy.  You may find as you engage in intimacy counseling that you enhance your ability to be emotionally honest and vulnerable with your partner, enriching your physical connection.

We Want To Participate But Are Afraid Of The Time It Will Take

Intimacy Stones2 - Lydia Mendoza - SacramentoIt is understandable that you would be concerned about the time it would take to address obstacles to intimacy.  It can take time to explore how your unmet needs and vulnerable feelings trigger the negative cycle of reactive emotions, thoughts, and behaviors.  And identifying when the negative cycle is happening and learning how to come together to interrupt it doesn’t happen overnight; nor does addressing the blocks and barriers that keep you from experiencing and sharing your vulnerable emotional experience.

But if you do nothing, it can become increasingly difficult to interrupt the cycle of disconnection, building further obstacles to intimate contact.  As you engage in intimacy counseling, you may find that the strides you make toward a more intimate connection are worth the investment it takes.

This Sounds Like A Lot Of Work.  We’re Not Sure We Have The Energy For It.

Relationships take a lot of work.  And when relationships are in distress, it does take time and energy to remove the obstacles to intimacy and satisfying connection.  That being said, if you do nothing, you may find that the obstacles to intimacy become even more profound, leaving you both feeling more alone and dissatisfied, possibly even leading to divorce.

I invite you to think of the energy you put into intimacy counseling as an investment in yourself and the success of your relationship.  You may find as you begin to work through some of the obstacles to intimacy and connection that you actually feel more energized and excited to continue.

If you are ready to feel more confident in your ability to navigate the obstacles to intimacy and connect more deeply with your partner, or if you still have questions about intimacy counseling, I invite you to call me at 916-443-5354 for a free 15-minute phone consultation.